work work work

Work is the name of the game this holiday season! And it sucks so much. I should be at home with my family but instead I am working 12 hours shifts almost everyday from now until New Year's Eve. It has gotten a lot better though ever since I became a stocker at work. The hours are a little more crazy but the work is easier and it is more laid back and fun. I'm making more friends and it's making it that much harder to leave in 3 weeks. I think I might try to go seasonal and maybe do the summer alumni program next summer. I'll have to think about it for sure but it's probably going to happen. Disney just has this weird way of pulling you in and never letting go. It's a strange feeling.

My best friend Megan came to visit with her boyfriend Ryne this week. She did the program as a character performer and was friends with characters like Winnie the Pooh, Chip and Dale, and Suzie and Perla! It was so good to see her and finally meet her boyfriend! He actually took her phone and texted me right before we were supposed to meet up at Magic Kingdom and asked me to pick up some pins for him. I went to get the pins and met up with Megan and Ryne to watch Wishes! It was a great night and what made it even better was that he proposed to her right then!! I got to be there for my beat friend's engagement! It was a very awesome night and after Wishes I was able to give them their Just Engaged pins that he asked me to pick up!

Oh yea, bold phase over. I'm back to my shy, "never talk to anyone unless I feel comfy with them" self. I am totally okay with that, though. Branching out is not my forte.

Done for today!

Adios!

bold

I think I might be coming to the end of my bold phase. It's not really gotten me anywhere and it's just making me worry and feel insecure. Screw being bold. I was fine before when I was shy and quiet and only talked to people once I felt comfortable talking to them. Hmph. I suppose I'll wait it out for a couple more days and see if my feelings change, but if they don't I'm going back to my old self. It's not worth it if it's going to hurt me and leave me disappointed. I deserve better than that.

decisions, decisions

I have been faced with so many decisions about my future lately. I am kind of getting sick of it. Every time I turn around I have to figure something else out. Hopefully I will actually be able to!

I emailed my advisor about switching to early childhood education just in case I decide to actually do it. I asked her what classes I would need to take to be able to apply for a cohort and what I needed to do to figure it out! Hopefully it's not too close to the holidays that I won't get an email back until January! I really need to get this done now! More to come on that later. I should probably talk to my mom about it before she reads it on here and freaks out!

I went to work today after 6 days of being off because I was sick. It was actually not bad at all and even though I felt worse leaving than when I got there today, it was still not as bad some days have been. It was really easy and I had my break at the same time (and almost on time, too!) as some other ODF people so I wasn't sitting alone like I normally do! I really enjoyed it!

Our Christmas tree is finally up!! It's the cutest thing ever, 5 feet tall with a silver star on top! I has some red tinsel and it's right next to our stockings! I feel a little more like it's Christmas now because of it, but it still won't be the same! Also, the one year that I'm gone for Christmas with no hope of coming back in time to see it, my family gets a real Christmas tree! We better make that a tradition so I can have one next year. I miss the tree scent! I almost feel like getting some air fresheners that smell like trees and hanging them on the back side of the tree so we can try to fool everyone!

While I was taking this picture on my iPhone, I got really distracted because I decided to try out Instagram. How freaking cool is that?! I have had it downloaded on my phone since I got it and I haven't used it yet! CRAZY! I love it and I haven't even started using it yet! (This all happened like 5 minutes ago, which makes it even more funny!)

We were supposed to get a new roommate yesterday, but she never showed up! Very strange. I like our apartment the way it is, but I was kind of looking forward to meeting someone new! Oh well! Maybe we'll get a new new one soon!

I leave Disney in 22 days. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was counting down so many days until I got here and now I have to leave in 22 days. Weird, and I'm not really happy about it. I have met so many great people down here and I don't really want to leave, but I do at the same time. It's going to be bittersweet.

I've been extremely bold lately. Especially in one area of my life (that you don't get to know, ha! ha!). I don't know why, but it's hit me, and I kinda like it. I've never really been a bold person, so it's nice to know that I can be if I want! It's an interesting thing and I hope it's not just a phase. That would be a waste!

Anyways, I'll be back later! I'm tired and hungry and this is so distracting!

Adios!

adventureland

Tomorrow I'm scheduled in Adventureland for the first time ever. I've worked there doing breaks and stuff like that but I've never been scheduled there. I'm a little excited, but not totally because I am sick and I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I might call out. I haven't decided if that's a smart idea though. Should I go to work for 9 miserable, sick hours. Or should I stay in the comfort of my apartment and my bed and the tv and eggnog and popsicles.
I feel like my mind has made up it's mind.
If I'm not feeling 75% tomorrow morning when I wake up at 9, I am definitely not going to work!!
Decision made!

Christmas is going to suck so bad. We have sort of decorated, but we haven't been able to get our tree yet. I feel like it isn't even December. My normal December would be filled with Christmas trees and finals right now. Instead, I work all the time, there are unfinished decorations all over the place and Magic Kingdom has been celebrating Christmas since November 2nd so my world is totally thrown off right now!

Random subject change, my arm muscle was just twitching and since it's 4:17 AM right now, I zoned out and watched it instead of doing anything else.

Anything in this post should probably be disregarded because of the late hour and number of cold meds I'm on right now.

HMMMM. What to say, what to say. I officially have drunk pictures up on Facebook. I thought it would never happen, but here we are today, and the most recent tagged photos of me are ones I can barely remember. Go figure. I also drunk called someone from work. Thank you alcohol. You never let me down, do you!? Now he forever gets to remember me as that drunk girl that called him talking about how cute he is. Lame.... alright, done with this crazy junk, onto the important stuff!

I'm not staying in Florida!! I wrote a pro/con list of staying because I thought Britta would ask me if i had written one, so I figured it would be a good idea. Here it is:

Pros

Experience

More time to figure out what I want to do

Making new friends

Meeting new boys

Stocking 

Florida

Free tickets to Disney

Can try to fix my relationship with the big man upstairs

Money

Cons

Miss family and friends and Raptor

Another semester off from school

Miss Nina and Britta’s last semester

Miss Liam's and Raptor's birthdays

No time in Milly before I move back home

21^st birthday w/o besties or mom

Wesley is in Milly

Could possibly lead me farther away from Jesus (not my original plan)

And that's that. It's not the best list ever and for a little bit the pros outweighed the cons for some reason, but I just really need to come home. I talked to Tori tonight and I miss her so much words can't even describe it. I need my best friend back in my life! And my Mom and Dad and stepdad and sister and brothers and Raptor!! Like I said before, I freaking miss my cat so much. I cried the other day when I thought about cuddling with him. I'm such a lame-o. Oh well.

I am contemplating changing my major. Again. Not like anyone who reads this hasn't heard that one before. I just don't think nursing is in my future. It used to be, but I don't think so anymore. Maybe I can be a social worker or a teacher or something. Teacher is really jumping out at me right now. I like the idea of educating adorable kids and for some reason the idea of being really really organized and changing the boards for the seasons and holidays and wearing cute teacher-y outfits and glasses really appeals to me. Along with impacting young children and showing them Jesus' love for them on a daily basis. I feel like I would be really good at that. When I think about being a nurse, I get nervous and insecure like I can't handle it. But when I think about teaching, I feel really confident about it. Maybe it's a sign that it's supposed to happen. I'm gonna pray about it some more and see if that's what God really wants me to do. 

I meant to write a post about everything I'm thankful for during Thanksgiving, but time got away from me as it usually does, so I'll go ahead and list some of them now. (in no particular order, of course)

Mom

Dad

Mike

Ariel 

Keegan

Liam 

David
Annelise

Britta
Tori
Nina
Drew
Kailee

blankets (I am currently freezing my butt off and wish I had one)

Disney

Everyone I work with and have met in Disney (with the exception of a few that just didn't rub me the right way) 

My grandparents

The rest of my family and friends

Raptor Baptor

heat

AC

Rain

Cold medicine

My iPhone

And most importantly, Jesus, because without him none of the above would even matter

I'm gonna hit the hay now so I can make a semi smart decision about going in to work tomorrow. (let's be real, I'll probably have another post up tomorrow night about how I slept all day and missed out on 9 hours of paid slavery, but I can try to be optimistic about making it there, right??) 

Adios!!

fear

I think I'm afraid of the future. 

I'm afraid of graduating and looking for a job and living on my own. 

I'm afraid of leaving the comfort zone of school or a job that's just getting me through. 

I'm terrified that I'm not good enough or that I'll be alone forever.

I'm afraid of Satan, and his grip on me lately. 

I'm afraid that God is disappointed, even though I know that it doesn't matter anyways because He loves me no matter what.

I'm afraid that I'll let people down if I do what I want to do in my life.

I'm afraid that my family will judge me and assume and basically talk stupid if I fail at anything I want to achieve. 

I don't want to hear, "I told you so" or "I just knew that wasn't going to work out" or "Well, that was a tough career choice anyway"

I just want to live my life the way I want to live it, but I am afraid that my fear is holding me back. 

I need to move forward.

I just need to figure out the best way to do that. 

And then do it.

If I figure it out, I'll let you know.

animals

One of the constants in my life is my animals. I miss my kitty so much!!

life/disney update

I've been a little lost lately. Disney is great, my friends here are awesome, but being here makes me reevaluate what I want to do with my life. I want to be a nurse so badly, but I don't know if I have what it takes to get to that goal. I know that it's what I should be doing with my life, but is that what I want to do with my life. I want to figure out why my brain is telling me that I should be doing something different than what I have planned and wanted for so long. It may be that I am just not confident that I can handle the job. I can barely handle the job I have now and all I am doing is serving icecream and popcorn all day. How am I suppose to handle sick and dying children all day long for the rest of my life? Can I even do that? Does God really want ME to be responsible for these kids? I need to pray about it and figure it out before I make any crazy decisions like changing my major. It has crossed my mind a lot since I have been down here, maybe I can be a teacher or an event planner for Disney or something. I really like the company and I could see myself working here, but the nursing career is still in the back of my mind and I can't decide what I need to do. I'm freaking myself out with all these thoughts and I really need to figure it out. End mindless typing here.

Anyways, work is insane! It's a good amount of insane and I actually enjoy it a lot. Today it rained all day and they deployed me to a restaurant, Casey's Corner, because ODF (outdoor foods) was basically closed down due to the weather. It made me appreciate my job that much more and I really can't complain about ODF that much anymore. Not that I won't, mind you, because complaining is like a past time for me lately. I enjoyed working in a restaurant, but I am very grateful that it is not my actual role here because it was crazy today. So many people were there and the managers said that it was a slow day, what?? Apparently slow is 3 hours working without stopping for a break because people just keep on coming! I served so many hotdogs today! One major difference between ODF and the restaurants is that you are constantly around other people at the restaurant and everyone is all up in your space. Normally I have my own nice little space that I can arrange the way I want (mostly) and generally there are no more than 4 people at the wagon at a time. There is not a lot of running into people or waiting 5 minutes for french fries and having to snatch them up before they disappear! I seriously looked over to make sure I had fries for my guest and they were there and when I looked back 10 seconds later, all the fries were gone! What the heck! I learned very quickly that if you want something for a guest, you grab it when it's there or you don't get it until they put more out!

Most of my coworkers are very pleasant and I generally enjoy working with everyone there. I did have an issue with one girl though, because I was doing my job and she called me snappy (I was not being snappy, and I have witnesses to prove it). Heck to the no, girl, you can't call me snappy in front of a guest and get away with it. I talked to a manger about it that night. It was actually really upsetting at the time and I ended up crying a lot. Overwhelming is the name of the game in ODF and she pushed me over the edge when she called me snappy. Other than that girl, I like pretty much everybody there. My coordinators are great and most of my managers are as well. I haven't really had a chance to work with some of them yet, so I have yet to form an opinion on how great they are. But from what I can see, they are all pretty nice.

Not having a class to deal with right now is fantastic! I love being able to come home from work and just chill rather than stressing over assignments and getting to class and such. The only thing I don't really like is that I don't get set days off. Everyone that has a class gets their specific days off and mine change weekly, which is a little annoying, but I can deal with it! And I never ever get a weekend off, not even a day in the weekend. I miss normal weeks a little! I generally don't even know what day it is. I go by the weeks in my head. Like if I have Tues/Wed off, Thursday is my Monday, Friday my Tuesday and so on. Sometimes it's a little confusing, like when I'm trying to tell someone a story about what happened to me on Monday, but Monday was really a Saturday so everyone ends up confused. Oh well!

Luckily my roommate issues have died down. Not really worrying about too many things anymore. It is aggravating though, when we get talked to by one to clean up but then their mess is left for the day. Practice what you preach dearies! Life would be so much easier that way. And the whole alcohol thing. Do what you do outside the apartment, but bring it in here and risk my job and I will get you fired because it's not worth it to drink down here and get sent home 3 months early. I'm not trying to get a bad rep from Disney World and I am sure as hell not going to let someone else risk my job so they can have some fun. And that is that. Roommate rant over.

This might sound weird, but I don't know what to do about bread. I am a big sandwich eater, but it is hard to eat a loaf of bread by yourself before it goes bad! I've never had this problem before because at home the bread disappears in like 2 days and at the apartment we all share so there is never a problem with the bread going bad! I've had to throw out a half a loaf already because I couldn't finish it before it got all moldy and nasty! I put it in the fridge so hopefully it will stay nice long enough for me to eat it all this time. And yes, I really do worry and think about this junk all the time! haha

I am 50% sure I jammed my left middle finger. Either that or I broke it or fractured it or something. There is no explanation for the amount of pain it is in every time I move it the wrong way or try to pick something up with my left hand. I'm sick of it already and it only got really bad today. It hurts even typing this right now. The rain is also messing with my joints. I have never really experienced pain with weather changes before, but this is insane! My knees and hips ache constantly and my hands are pretty bad too. Alright, complaining time is over! Woohoo, you made it through that!

I MISS MY CAT SO MUCH. Very self expanatory, I feel no need to elaborate.

I miss my family and friends too, but Raptor is right below family and friends and right above my apartment. (I apologize for elaborating a line down after I said there's no need to elaborate!)

I've been feeling very disconnected from God lately. I don't know why, but I need to get out of this rut that I'm in with Him. I think it may be because I have a serious lack of Godly relationships down here in comparison to what I have at home. There is not a lot of encouragement to be a Godly woman down here. I am trying very hard but it is really difficult sometimes, especially because I work constantly and when I'm not working, I am sleeping because work was so intense. It is very easy to get into a routine that excludes God almost entirely and I really need to get out of this place I'm in. I'm working on it though and hopefully I'll be back to normal sooner rather than later!

Alright, it is 3:09 and definitely past my bedtime. I have to be at work in 12 hours so I need to hit the sack! I'll try to update faster next time and more frequently in the future!

I also have a very sweet story about an interaction with a guest, but it is long so I am not going to type it out tonight. Be excited for it though!

Adios!!

Also, I am trying to make this my life song for right now!

stupid

Why risk being fired from Disney World? We're only here for 4 months. Follow the rules and it will be smooth sailing until we leave here! Doing something stupid like drinking underage is the dumbest way to get termed. Don't make bad decisions that will get you kicked out.

That's all I have to say about that.

awesome

Disney is awesome.
My roommates are awesome.
My apartment is awesome. (besides the bugs)
I'll write more when it's not 5 am!

Adios

harder than i thought

All my friends are going back to Milledgeville today to start classes tomorrow. I thought this was going to be easy because I am going to Disney World next week, but I miss everyone so much and I just want to be in Milly right now. I just really want to be in 2 places at once. Too bad that can never happen :( Oh well. I guess I just feel like I'm missing out on things that I really want to be around for. I shouldn't think that because I know I will be making a ton of fun, new, awesome memories in Florida, but I can't help but feel this way right now. bleh.

On a higher note, my cousin got married yesterday!! The wedding was so beautiful and I am so excited to have a new cousin!! She is awesome and I can't wait to get to know her better! I hope I can be making some visits to Washington when I get some money! :) Love them so much!

Okie dokie, I should go now. Family is talking and I need to get ready to leave!

Adios!

P.S. I didn't get into the Cohort. It sucks and I'm sad, but I'm getting over it. I only cried a little bit. It's also getting much easier to say the more I say it. Gotta figure out what I'm going to do next.

anticipation

I want to be in Disney World right now. I have one bag totally packed, but I'm pretty sure I am going to open it up to see what's in there since I packed it so long ago. I am really anxiousnervousexcited about it all but I wish time would go faster so I could just be there!
Hmmm to be honest I don't know what else to write here.
I just want time to move faster so I can be at Disney!! Then time can slow down again so it doesn't fly by while I'm there!

Adios, let's hope these next 13 days go by very quickly (except for Wedding time this weekend!!)

P.S. Let me also say that I am SO NERVOUS to find out whether or not I made it into the Spring Nursing Cohort. Waiting for that is insane and if I could just know that now, my life would be so awesome! I would wait for Disney all over again if I could just know right now!! Waiting sucks...

let's get crafty!

I have been obsessed with craftgawker lately. I just want to make awesome easy things all the time now! There are so many DIY projects that are super easy and super cool. I will be a crafty person. Eventually.

I packed up my room last weekend and I have been living out of a suitcase in my own apartment for the past week. My subleaser, Maggie, moved in on Wednesday night! She seems like a good fit for our apartment while I'm gone. My furniture is in a different apartment being rented out by an international student named Ana! I am hopefully going to help her get all my furniture arranged and settled into her room tomorrow night. I can't wait to meet her! I feel like going to Disney has already given me a couple of good friends and I haven't even left yet!

This week is going to suck so much. Let me show you all I am doing this week...
Monday: Lab Final, 1 tooth filling filled.
Tuesday: nothing! (Thank you Jesus, for giving me one day this week!!)
Wednesday: Lecture Final, DONE WITH PRE-NURSING MAJOR, dinner and hanging out with Sarah!!
Thursday: 4 teeth fillings filled
Friday: Wisdom teeth removed, going home for August, taking the cats with me. Luckily I have an apartment full of awesome roomies and a mom who will pack all my junk into the car while I am indisposed due to major amounts of pain killers and the last effects of laughing gas!!
It's like the week of the dentist. Ewww.

Back to crafts, that's much more exciting than my teeth. I am hopefully going to get into the Spring Cohort for Nursing, that will be awesome because then I can stay in Milly and find a place to rent that doesn't suck. Never live in College Station. It's cheap but it's really cheap, you know? We found a really nice neighborhood here and Tori is going to be on the lookout while I'm gone! Anyways, once we find a different place to live, I hope I will be able to paint my walls and make the room my own. I want to paint all my furniture black, or purple, or a combination of the two. I want to make a bunch of awesome things that I can hang up and use to make my room look nice!

My cousin is getting MARRIED on August 13th!! Wow! It's so exciting! I bought my dress for the occasion yesterday. I bought two dresses actually, but I didn't buy shoes, so that's how I'm rationalizing that purchase! I also bought thirty dollars worth of soap, candles, and hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works. They were having a sale and I couldn't resist! It's so typical of me to buy extra stuff when I go shopping. I need to stop this habit now!!

There are only 22 more days until I leave for Florida!! I'm driving down on the 21st and staying the night in a hotel. Check in is from 6-12 on the 22nd and I guarantee you I will not be there at 6. Way too early for me! My roommate and I have been talking a bit and we seem to have a lot in common and we want the same things for our apartment, which is really good!! This match is definitely something that God put together and I am so happy about it! It was such a random thing and it happened so fast and it's turning out to be a great thing, so far! I can't wait to meet her!

Well, I think I'm going to be done with this now. I have an exam tomorrow so I better get back to studying!!

Adios

P.S.

I am appalled with myself that I haven't seen the Winnie the Pooh movie yet. What kind of fan am I?? You wouldn't even know I was if it weren't for the years of devotion, every Winnie the Pooh tape in my memory, the huge Pooh stuffed animal in my possession (sort of, he stays at my Dad's house in Colorado, but that's beside the point), and the Complete Works of Winnie the Pooh and the Hundred Acre Wood sitting in one of my boxes right now.
Shame on me. I better fix this soon!

Also, here are some photos from Harry Potter premiere night!!

Woohoo we win with our homemade shirts!! :) 

harry potter

is over.

What am I going to do with my life now.

I cried throughout the whole movie, and at one point held Nina's hand because it was so stressful for us.

I can't believe it's over. 

Wow.

Adios

is the day ever going to arrive...

I have 39 more days until I check in at Disney. I hate waiting. Why can't it just be August 22 right now so I can be in the happiest place on earth!?

I found my roommate a couple weeks ago :) Her name is Kailee and she seems really awesome just by the look of her Facebook! She went to the T Swift concert where Needtobreathe (one of my favorite bands EVER) opened. I was totally jealous, not gonna lie. I can't wait to meet her and so many other people that I have gotten to be Facebook friends with! It is going to be an awesome experience!

We got a kitten the other day! My roommate, Nina, and I found him while we were on a walk and we brought him home. Tori claimed him and his name is Jackson Polluck. He's a cute little guy. He loves to play with Raptor and Raptor actually likes him now (I think he's mostly just excited that a cat finally likes him!).

So cute with his little tail wrapped around himself!

I passed the US History test this week! I only studied the night before and apparently that was enough! Thank you Mr. Fuller for that 11th grade US History class. You must have actually taught me something! This is a really good thing because I have been stressing lately over things falling into place. I start going into "what-ifs" and that is a really bad thing! "What if I fail this test and it ends up making me stay in school for an extra year instead of one semester?" We don't need to go there. Things will work out the way they are going to work out. I just need to follow God's plan and I'm all good!

NURSING COHORT! I am applying for the nursing cohort at my college this weekend. I am also going to be applying for other schools as backup just in case. This is so crazy! I thought the time would never get here and now here it is, jumping on my heels screaming, "Let's do this now!" I'm not sure if I'm ready but I'm going to have to be.

I can't wait for Disney.

Just thought I'd throw that out there again.

Harry Potter 7 Part 2 premieres tonight. I got my midnight tickets for Nina and I and tomorrow I am making t-shirts so we don't look like lame-o's with no Harry Potter stuff. This is such an exciting but sad time! It's like my childhood is coming to an end for real, but I am so ready for it to come, but I'm still sad about it because it's the end! sigh...

Anyways, I suppose that's it for now! I really need to get some sleep before I take this exam tomorrow. Microbiology is not a laughing matter, and I hope it won't be laughing at me because I do so badly on this test. Let's pray I do well! This is another one of those "what-if" moments that I should be avoiding, but it just keeps popping up in the back of my head!

I can't wait for Disney! 39 days.

Adios!

P.S. The new kitten twitches in his sleep too :)

the purpose

I just now figured out what I will use this for!
I AM WORKING IN DISNEY WORLD IN THE FALL!
DUH! I can't believe I didn't think of that in the first place!

I am super duper excited to have this opportunity. It seriously took me about 12 hours to decide that I was going to do it. I woke up in the morning and decided I was going to go to the meeting on campus. I went that night, signed up, had my phone interview 3 days later and a week after that, I got my confirmation that I had been accepted!! It is probably the most exciting thing that has happened to me, ever! Disney has been a part of my life since I was born and to have the chance to work in the most magical place in the world is just amazing. I am elated every time I think about it! So this is going to be the place where my family and friends can keep up with me on my awesome journey as a Disney Cast Member. Problem solved. No more secret blog :)
Get excited! I definitely am!

I'll see you guys in the Fall!

Adios!

the beginning

Woohoo! First ever blog post! 


I'm sitting in Anatomy 2 right now. We're "learning" about the urinary system. Fascinating.

I sit here and I think of all the other things I could be doing right now. Sleeping, watching Friends, eating, reading, swimming, not caring about school. Disney better be worth it (of course it will) because I did not imagine my summer "vacation" this way at all. 

I suppose it has been really great so far, minus the school part. I am starting a lot of relationships up and building on my existing ones. My roommates and I are bonding a lot. Mostly Britta. We have had many a late night chat this summer. We end up talking about life for a pretty long while and it makes me really happy.
My brother Keegan turned 12 on Saturday. It is a miracle. He is so healthy and alive and I am so thankful that he made it this far. Here's to many more years of life for him!!
I don't really know what to do on this blog yet. It's kinda secret right now. Only my roomies know that I have it, and they don't even know how to find it. When I figure it out, I suppose I will open it to the public and go from there. I think it will probably just be a place where I ramble about my life and my favorite things (like frogs)

:)

Adios!!