I've been a little lost lately. Disney is great, my friends here are awesome, but being here makes me reevaluate what I want to do with my life. I want to be a nurse so badly, but I don't know if I have what it takes to get to that goal. I know that it's what I should be doing with my life, but is that what I want to do with my life. I want to figure out why my brain is telling me that I should be doing something different than what I have planned and wanted for so long. It may be that I am just not confident that I can handle the job. I can barely handle the job I have now and all I am doing is serving icecream and popcorn all day. How am I suppose to handle sick and dying children all day long for the rest of my life? Can I even do that? Does God really want ME to be responsible for these kids? I need to pray about it and figure it out before I make any crazy decisions like changing my major. It has crossed my mind a lot since I have been down here, maybe I can be a teacher or an event planner for Disney or something. I really like the company and I could see myself working here, but the nursing career is still in the back of my mind and I can't decide what I need to do. I'm freaking myself out with all these thoughts and I really need to figure it out. End mindless typing here.
Anyways, work is insane! It's a good amount of insane and I actually enjoy it a lot. Today it rained all day and they deployed me to a restaurant, Casey's Corner, because ODF (outdoor foods) was basically closed down due to the weather. It made me appreciate my job that much more and I really can't complain about ODF that much anymore. Not that I won't, mind you, because complaining is like a past time for me lately. I enjoyed working in a restaurant, but I am very grateful that it is not my actual role here because it was crazy today. So many people were there and the managers said that it was a slow day, what?? Apparently slow is 3 hours working without stopping for a break because people just keep on coming! I served so many hotdogs today! One major difference between ODF and the restaurants is that you are constantly around other people at the restaurant and everyone is all up in your space. Normally I have my own nice little space that I can arrange the way I want (mostly) and generally there are no more than 4 people at the wagon at a time. There is not a lot of running into people or waiting 5 minutes for french fries and having to snatch them up before they disappear! I seriously looked over to make sure I had fries for my guest and they were there and when I looked back 10 seconds later, all the fries were gone! What the heck! I learned very quickly that if you want something for a guest, you grab it when it's there or you don't get it until they put more out!
Most of my coworkers are very pleasant and I generally enjoy working with everyone there. I did have an issue with one girl though, because I was doing my job and she called me snappy (I was not being snappy, and I have witnesses to prove it). Heck to the no, girl, you can't call me snappy in front of a guest and get away with it. I talked to a manger about it that night. It was actually really upsetting at the time and I ended up crying a lot. Overwhelming is the name of the game in ODF and she pushed me over the edge when she called me snappy. Other than that girl, I like pretty much everybody there. My coordinators are great and most of my managers are as well. I haven't really had a chance to work with some of them yet, so I have yet to form an opinion on how great they are. But from what I can see, they are all pretty nice.
Not having a class to deal with right now is fantastic! I love being able to come home from work and just chill rather than stressing over assignments and getting to class and such. The only thing I don't really like is that I don't get set days off. Everyone that has a class gets their specific days off and mine change weekly, which is a little annoying, but I can deal with it! And I never ever get a weekend off, not even a day in the weekend. I miss normal weeks a little! I generally don't even know what day it is. I go by the weeks in my head. Like if I have Tues/Wed off, Thursday is my Monday, Friday my Tuesday and so on. Sometimes it's a little confusing, like when I'm trying to tell someone a story about what happened to me on Monday, but Monday was really a Saturday so everyone ends up confused. Oh well!
Luckily my roommate issues have died down. Not really worrying about too many things anymore. It is aggravating though, when we get talked to by one to clean up but then their mess is left for the day. Practice what you preach dearies! Life would be so much easier that way. And the whole alcohol thing. Do what you do outside the apartment, but bring it in here and risk my job and I will get you fired because it's not worth it to drink down here and get sent home 3 months early. I'm not trying to get a bad rep from Disney World and I am sure as hell not going to let someone else risk my job so they can have some fun. And that is that. Roommate rant over.
This might sound weird, but I don't know what to do about bread. I am a big sandwich eater, but it is hard to eat a loaf of bread by yourself before it goes bad! I've never had this problem before because at home the bread disappears in like 2 days and at the apartment we all share so there is never a problem with the bread going bad! I've had to throw out a half a loaf already because I couldn't finish it before it got all moldy and nasty! I put it in the fridge so hopefully it will stay nice long enough for me to eat it all this time. And yes, I really do worry and think about this junk all the time! haha
I am 50% sure I jammed my left middle finger. Either that or I broke it or fractured it or something. There is no explanation for the amount of pain it is in every time I move it the wrong way or try to pick something up with my left hand. I'm sick of it already and it only got really bad today. It hurts even typing this right now. The rain is also messing with my joints. I have never really experienced pain with weather changes before, but this is insane! My knees and hips ache constantly and my hands are pretty bad too. Alright, complaining time is over! Woohoo, you made it through that!
I MISS MY CAT SO MUCH. Very self expanatory, I feel no need to elaborate.
I miss my family and friends too, but Raptor is right below family and friends and right above my apartment. (I apologize for elaborating a line down after I said there's no need to elaborate!)
I've been feeling very disconnected from God lately. I don't know why, but I need to get out of this rut that I'm in with Him. I think it may be because I have a serious lack of Godly relationships down here in comparison to what I have at home. There is not a lot of encouragement to be a Godly woman down here. I am trying very hard but it is really difficult sometimes, especially because I work constantly and when I'm not working, I am sleeping because work was so intense. It is very easy to get into a routine that excludes God almost entirely and I really need to get out of this place I'm in. I'm working on it though and hopefully I'll be back to normal sooner rather than later!
Alright, it is 3:09 and definitely past my bedtime. I have to be at work in 12 hours so I need to hit the sack! I'll try to update faster next time and more frequently in the future!
I also have a very sweet story about an interaction with a guest, but it is long so I am not going to type it out tonight. Be excited for it though!
Adios!!
Also, I am trying to make this my life song for right now!
