boys

I have absolutely no faith in the male population anymore. Fuck all of you dumb boys who just talk to girls because they have a vagina. Fuck the boys who use girls just for fun and string them along, only to leave them hanging, sad and alone. FUCK YOU.

Hopefully I'll find a boy who restores my faith in the idiot boys in this world.

over think

I'm an over thinker. No doubt about that! But just when I'm in the depths of my brain obsessing over tiny little details like how long it takes someone to reply to my text message, something happens that brings me back to the surface and then I stop being crazy and move on with my life. Lol unfortunately this sad sad cycle happens all the time and I end up psyching myself out when I should really just enjoy myself and my conversations.

Also, butterflies in my tummy are really nice because I'm excited about new things happening, but I feel so super vulnerable whenever I get them. Probably because I always let people hurt me and I can't trust my own emotions anymore. I need to work on that! But hopefully that won't happen this time :) taking it slow and basking in the awesomeness of the giant kaleidoscope if butterflies fluttering around in my abdomen, even if it makes me a tiny bit uncomfortable! I can do this and not be a maniac about it.

In other news, Kailee is here in Georgia again! This is time number 3 since we've been friends/roomies. We are doing homework and nails and relaxing tomorrow and then the rest of the weekend is going to be unplanned and hopefully totally fun!

I've been hanging out with my friend Rachel from high school and college a lot lately and it's been really good for me I think. I'm in a much better mood most of the time and I'm not a miserable lump of human anymore so that is really good!! She is freaking awesome and her fiancé Alex is super cool as well! I'm hopefully going to see the movie Sinister with them and another friend next weekend! It should be super super fun :)

Someone is awake in my house and eating cereal. I'm assuming its my mom since she's the only one who does that in the middle of the night!

Sorry for the crazy randomness! It's late and I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and I've been spending all my good energy on over thinking and overanalyzing wayyyyyy too much lol time to stop doing that and start enjoying my life without my huge internal dramas!!

It's not like anyone reads this sucker anyway! It's almost like a diary online that someone could totally read if they want to, but they see how randomcrazyboring it is and just click next! Oh well! At least I have 5 followers (including myself) :))))

Anyways, goodnight world!

Adios

shine your light in the darkness

Today our President Obama spoke out and against human trafficking. I haven't had the pleasure of watching the speech yet, but I'm hopeful that with this, human trafficking awareness will be spread and the decline of this horrifying industry will begin. 

Natalie Grant is a very wonderful Christian artist who has comforted and helped many people with her music. She recently accepted an invitation to a special reception recognizing the millions of people who are enslaved. She posted a photo and a status on her Facebook page of the President and the First Lady stating that she was honored to have been invited to support awareness for human trafficking. Sadly, many of her followers are speaking out against her now because of this wonderful thing she is doing all because she posted a photo of the President. 

Many people showed confusion because she used the words "modern-day slavery", they voiced their confusion and were told by other commenters what that meant and Natalie later posted a website linking to her cause. Other former Natalie supporters have deleted her off their page, spoken against her, and voiced their political concerns and agendas. 

This is NOT about the election coming up, or the President's views on homosexuality or abortion. This is about human trafficking, which is rapidly increasing every single day. Little girls get kidnapped, sold into the sex trade, and made to do horrible things for nothing at all. Boys are forced to become soldiers and kill their own people when they are just barely growing up. Their is no political agenda here and I am just shocked and hurt that people are taking it that way. This is a real life issue that affects people not only all over the rest of the world, but here in the United States as well. 

It is something that Natalie Grant has been speaking out against and fighting for years, and now because she posted one tiny photo of the President showing her gratitude for being invited to recognize the victims, people are going to stop supporting this wonderful Christian woman. 

I for one am not going to stop. In my own personal life I have used Natalie's songs and speeches at events like Women of Faith and the Revolve Tour to overcome struggles. I don't care where she lands politically or who she partners with to end something as abhorring as human trafficking. God will use His people to shine a light on the darkest places of the world, and he is using Natalie to do that with this issue. I support her and I support President Obama and I commend them both for standing up against human trafficking. 

 

I am enraged at the millions of Christians who are judging her for going to the reception and who are no longer supporting her and her causes all because of a photo of the President. God is the only one who can judge anyone in the world. The fact that people are pushing their politics into such an important issue on her Facebook page is ridiculous to me and it makes me very sad for this country and, although I don't want to feel this, I feel ashamed to call myself a Christian because I do not want to be attached to the extremists who don't understand that God loves EVERYONE in the whole entire world. THE ENTIRE WORLD. He loves all of us, no matter what their views are and no matter what they are doing, whether they believe in other Gods or don't believe in a higher power at all. He loves every person, everywhere.

Adios

I linked to Abolition International above. Natalie Grant founded the organization and they are doing great things to end sex trafficking in the US and around the world. Check it out!

life

Shitty things happen in life, and luckily God is there to somehow make it better. You get over it and move on. Moving on. Moving on.

home sweet home

It makes me sad every time I think about Disney World. I loved it so much and now it's gone. Very very sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-_Y46-TvO8

Go watch this video and you'll see why!!

  

BUTTTTTT! I am so happy to be home!! I missed my family so much and and my roommates and my kitten and all my friends! Raptor is very happily back in The Asylum :) and our little family is all back to normal!! Phoebe is still cranky and Jackson is still a cuddly wuddly baby! Raptor is so freaking curious and sometimes it's really annoying! It's really great being around my best apartment friends again!! Our apartment is even more ballin' now than it was when I left, so that makes it even better! 

MY BROTHERS ARE SO COOL! And I guess that sister of mine is as well ;) but I missed their weirdness and how hilarious they are. My parents are cool too!! (Just throwing that out there so they don't feel left out, my mom is like 25% of the people that read this so I gotta get it out there!!)  

School sucks.

I have officially had the shortest job ever. Starting and quitting all in the same day is a pretty decent accomplishment if I do say so myself! Nothing compares to the awesomeness of Disney World and I realized that I didn't really need the job anyway, so it was a smart decision in regards to focusing on school and making the goal of graduating on time a reality!  

I am 21 now (YEA BABY) but alcohol does nothing for my texting conversations. New rule, Amanda doesn't text under the influence. BAD IDEA. It wasn't too horrible of a situation, but I was insanely embarrassed about it and pretty sure I pushed someone away. Hopefully that's not true, but it may be. I am just not good at liking people and not telling them ALLLL about it (plus some) when I am drinking. I'm ridiculous. That's the only explanation I can think of for the craziness!!

Anywho...I'm almost positive I'm moving back home next year so I can save money instead of spending it on rent. It will be the better, more responsible decision in order to save as much money as I can before I venture out to the wilds of Orlando, Florida to live and work at Disney (hopefully).

ALSO, My bestest friend in the whole wide world, Megan, asked me to be her Maid of Honor!! WOO! I am beyond excited to share this with her! Love her so much and it's going to be an awesome experience :)

Meg and I in Brownies! Meant to be besties forever!! 

We have a moon in our living room. A moon that lights up and changes phases. With a moon man. The moon man is Ryan Reynolds. Bombdiggity. 

That is all.

work work work

Work is the name of the game this holiday season! And it sucks so much. I should be at home with my family but instead I am working 12 hours shifts almost everyday from now until New Year's Eve. It has gotten a lot better though ever since I became a stocker at work. The hours are a little more crazy but the work is easier and it is more laid back and fun. I'm making more friends and it's making it that much harder to leave in 3 weeks. I think I might try to go seasonal and maybe do the summer alumni program next summer. I'll have to think about it for sure but it's probably going to happen. Disney just has this weird way of pulling you in and never letting go. It's a strange feeling.

My best friend Megan came to visit with her boyfriend Ryne this week. She did the program as a character performer and was friends with characters like Winnie the Pooh, Chip and Dale, and Suzie and Perla! It was so good to see her and finally meet her boyfriend! He actually took her phone and texted me right before we were supposed to meet up at Magic Kingdom and asked me to pick up some pins for him. I went to get the pins and met up with Megan and Ryne to watch Wishes! It was a great night and what made it even better was that he proposed to her right then!! I got to be there for my beat friend's engagement! It was a very awesome night and after Wishes I was able to give them their Just Engaged pins that he asked me to pick up!

Oh yea, bold phase over. I'm back to my shy, "never talk to anyone unless I feel comfy with them" self. I am totally okay with that, though. Branching out is not my forte.

Done for today!

Adios!

bold

I think I might be coming to the end of my bold phase. It's not really gotten me anywhere and it's just making me worry and feel insecure. Screw being bold. I was fine before when I was shy and quiet and only talked to people once I felt comfortable talking to them. Hmph. I suppose I'll wait it out for a couple more days and see if my feelings change, but if they don't I'm going back to my old self. It's not worth it if it's going to hurt me and leave me disappointed. I deserve better than that.